Gwynnocent, not gwylty!


Rick Bowmer

Paltrow, age 50, channeling her rich mom persona in a black polo shirt, long navy skirt, and $1,450 Prada boots.

A “serious smack,” a dollar, and a 76-year-old optometrist. What’s the connecting factor of these three things? Gwyneth Paltrow, actress-turned-wellness influencer and businesswoman. 

Paltrow was sued by retired optometrist Terry Sanderson for $300,000 (initially 3.1 million) over a skiing hit-and-run. Paltrow herself counter-sued for $1 and won the case on March 30. 

Paltrow’s legal team alleged that Sanderson was simply trying to exploit Paltrow’s celebrity wealth by falsely accusing her of assault. After all, to a woman worth $200 million, $300,000 is a mere charity donation. 

And while Sanderson stated serious injuries like “permanent traumatic brain damage” and “four broken ribs,” the internet made a meme out of the trial, treating it like a satirical dark comedy. Even Paltrow herself couldn’t take the allegations seriously. 

Maybe it’s because said accident occurred seven years ago, or Sanderson testified that Paltrow’s collision sent him “absolutely flying.” Either way, both parties cited oddly specific details, from a “blood-curdling scream” Sanderson heard to a “very strange grunting noise” Paltrow remembered.

Sanderson said he was tormented not only physically but also mentally, crediting the incident for turning him into a “self-imposed recluse.” He also insisted that his medical issues contributed to him losing friends and splitting up with his partner. 

On the other hand, when asked about the losses she suffered from the crash, Paltrow responded with “Well, I lost half a day of skiing.”

However, after an evening of deliberations, the jury agreed Sanderson was at fault, not Paltrow. As Paltrow left the courtroom, she whispered to her accuser, “I wish you well.”

If there’s one lesson that can be safely concluded from this trial, it’s that entertainment is often found in the absolutely absurd, like nepotism babies whose biggest problems are $9,000 skiing trips.

The full case is still available to stream on Court TV and ABC News.